I’ve been married for 31 years.
It’s coming to an end. A very unfortunate, avoidable, extremely painful end.
I’ve known her family well over half my life. We’ve broke bread together, celebrated births and birthdays together, holidays, funerals, family reunions, baptisms, and weddings together.
We laughed, fought, got drunk, told jokes, cooked, worked on cars, fished, hunted, and cried together.
It occurred to me today that eventually, I’m going to have to give them back. They love me, I know they do. They’ve showed me, told me, and proved to me that they do. But as the months go by, they’ve pulled back and started to bring her back into the fold. I know blood is thicker than water and they have their own issues to deal with. They realize that what she has done has affected all of the family and it’s painful for them to think about it let alone deal with me.
They will always be my family but the dynamics have changed. I miss them. I will especially miss Christmas. I have many great memories to take with me though. My children will still go, but the awkwardness of the elephant in the room will mean that one of us has to step up and step away. And that’s me.
I know as time passes I’ll run into them here and there and there will be hugs and laughter and happiness for goals achieved and perhaps new relationships starting.
I have been blessed to know them and love them. But it’s time to start a new chapter of my life. Hopefully it involves new people that will love me and I them. And when I do see my old family, all I will think about is all the great times we had, and how blessed we were to have them.