When my wife made the decision to leave myself and our son, there was something I had to tell her. It was something that was painfully obvious to me and I don’t think I’m wrong.
In her family’s history, there was never a case of infidelity. Not that I ever heard anyway. There was also an extremely low, almost nonexistent divorce rate. There was long marriages filled with lots of kids and grandchildren.
I could see that what she was doing would be her legacy. They might remember her beautiful smile, or how time had been kind to her in the looks department. They will see her children and think that they turned out great. But the first thing they are going to remember, the first thing that will pop into their minds, is the fact that she cheated on her husband and chose to stay with her affair partner.
Her family has made it quite clear that he is NOT to be brought to any family functions. He is not welcome and that she has made this her new normal.
I have no idea how she will handle this going forward, nor do I care. I will never forget the look in her eyes when I was explaining all this to her the night she made her decision. Her eyes were darting back and forth as she contemplated what she was embarking on. Her normally beautiful eyes almost seemed to have scales over them as I tried in vain to construe what she would be remembered for. I wasn’t trying to be mean. I honestly believe it will be her legacy.
And to be quite honest, as much pain as she has caused me and with a tear running down my cheek right now, it makes my heart ache for her.
She was so much more than this.