Purging the clutter and memories.

Tonight I decided to clear off a bookcase in my sons room that has been there for years. Both of my sons shared this room, so there’s a mix of both of these young men’s lives on the shelves.

My older son excelled in all sports, but especially golf and all of the plaques and ribbons and a lot of his trophies are on these shelves. I started remembering walking the numerous golf courses while he played. Miles and miles of walking watching him set school records. A lot were solo walks, others with his Mom. We were so proud of him. We would walk hand in hand watching him. He resembles her.

My youngest son runs cross country and his awards and ribbons are also on there. We would go to his meets and cheer him on, as a couple. Parents who were proud of their son who may not have the athletic talents of his older sibling, but always finished and never quit.

I was also boxing up the books. Books that harkened back to their childhood. Books that we both read to them as parents do.

These memories of being a couple and just loving our kids is the one thing I can truly hold onto and know we did right.

I never dreamed it would turn out the way it did. With her leaving us for someone else. She took away our family stability, but she can’t take the memories.

Every corner of this house is a memory. We built it together. It’s on my family’s ground, but I don’t think I can stay. It seems like it’s part of us, interwoven with the laughter and the birthday parties, and the family get togethers. But if I’m to move on, I don’t see how I can with the constant reminders of us that are here in these walls.

Tonight was another reminder that, although I’ve come a long way, this healing road I’m on is still stretching out before me, with no end in sight.

My family has always been my #1 priority. I’m fiercely loyal. I was always the “Mama bear” when it came to anyone screwing with any of them. I’m still that way, just one short.

I don’t know what my future holds, but I do know the past holds many beautiful memories. And I’m thankful for that.


10 thoughts on “Purging the clutter and memories.

  1. Sometimes when we need to make something new, we have to let other things go. Even though we love them, they are tying us and stopping us from finding something that we can make our own, something that will reflect our new lives.

    I wrote in my mois french adventure blog about how hard it was leaving my house in England. I loved that house, and at first I wasn’t prepared to give it up because it was one of the things that ‘she’ wanted me to lose. So I made sure I kept it and we stayed for another 8 years. But Rich found it hard, because it reminded him every day of what he had done, of the mistakes he had made. I thought I was fine, until I moved away, and then, as we made our new home, I realised that it had been affecting me too. But I didn’t realise until I was truly free.
    When you make the decision you will be so sad, but when you step away you will realise that you are truly moving forward. Sending a hug.


    1. I believe I saw the picture of your house you loved. It was truly beautiful. It looked like a high end Bed and Breakfast here in the states. I’m glad you’re happy now Moisy and Thank you for responding to my post.

      Liked by 1 person

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