So today was Fathers Day. All 3 of my children were here to celebrate me, their Dad. They made me dinner and those of age shared a drink with their old man. It was a fun day, as they always are when we all come together as a family. I had a good day and it wasn’t just because my kids were here. It’s because I gained some perspective in my life and things became a bit clearer as to what I need to fret over and what I should be thankful for.
You see, the day before Fathers Day my stbx and the AP (POS) decided to post a Facebook video for all to see sharing their secret of a solid Christian relationship. *Take your time to let that sink in, or let the bile settle back down in your stomach *
So anyhoo, since I’m not on Facebook some family decided to share it with me. Although I only watched maybe 30 seconds of it as it is still kind of painful to see your wife talking about love and respect and Jesus while staring into the eyes of her infidelity partner, I’m grateful they shared it as I’ve been blindsided enough without this creeping into my life at a later date. The video truly shows two lost, narcissistic, sociopaths who found each other and will eventually devour each other’s souls.
I’m not going to lie, it upset me and with her not having any contact with virtually anyone in her family, I highly doubt the timing of the video (Fathers Day weekend) was a coincidence. As my family started to leave comments such as: “Hey, how does Jesus feel about the whole adultery thing”? she removed the video and blocked them. This video was a HUGE mistake on her part and showed how mentally ill she is thinking it was a good idea. If she had anyone hanging on, this might’ve been the last straw. She purposely humiliated me in one comment and outright lied also.
With all that on my mind, something made me go into my DM’s and I noticed one of the tribe hasn’t been on in awhile and I simply reached out to say Hi and hoped she was doing well. What she said, was exactly what I needed to hear. I hope she doesn’t mind my sharing what she said, but since I haven’t mentioned who it is, I don’t think she’ll mind. This is what she shared:
Hi!! Happy Father’s Day! I’m doing really well! I hit this turning point with my friend who has stage 4 cancer and is in the fight for her life. It made me see that I’m ok. It literally changed my perspective. I realized that I have zero complaints. My problems are 100% solvable. And for the first time, I was able to see my ex husband as a human. I can’t explain it, but I was able to let it go. All pain, and the hurt .. I was able to say that in the end, he hurt my feelings. He hurt my feelings and it’s ok. It’s ok that he hurt my feelings. And in that little space, I was able to breathe and find a bit of freedom. So, I come to check Twitter now and then. How are you my friend?
There is no such thing as coincidence. I needed to hear this and put my problems in perspective. I then reached out to a dear, special friend to tell her about this message and she shared this:
I have a coworker who’s Niece just turned 21 and has been disabled all her life. Wasn’t supposed to live passed age 5. Well, her shunt in her brain was blocked and she had to be airlifted to a bigger hospital and coded on the helicopter. She’s now on life support and won’t survive. Her father is battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer. The mom of this girl is going to lose her husband and her only child in the same year. It’s been heavy on my heart all day It makes me grateful for the small problems I have. Everything in our lives is fixable. We can solve all of our problems and keep moving forward. I think that’s why I keep a Blessings Jar & Gratitude journal. It’s so easy to get blind sided by the struggles and let them grow bigger than they deserve,but we all have to get to that realization on our own. It takes an aha moment. That was yours maybe
Ughh, reality is subtle sometimes and sometimes it kicks you in the dick. These were messages I needed to hear. My children are healthy and safe. I have my own health and am blessed beyond measure with kind, caring, loving people in my life who have my back. I can’t control what she does, but I can control how it affects me. I’m tired of being the betrayed husband. I’m tired of feeling like somehow, because of HER horrible life choices, I’m the one who is hurting. I’m tired of this defining my life. Yes, it was an awful, painful thing to do to someone, but concerning the messages, my TC says: “I listened to the God whisper” and I’m going with that.
It may have been a whisper, but I heard it loud and clear.