I’ve been struggling lately not to act on my feelings towards the AP in my story.
A little background first.
My stbx is self employed as a hair stylist. She decided to start giving massages after getting them herself for several years.
My trust in her morals and integrity were enough to let me go along with this idea.
I was wrong.
She met him when she went into a vitamin/wellness shop. She was always quite flirtatious when approaching possible clientele, sometimes in front of me, but I stupidly wrote it off as her way to build her business. I actually had said “whatever it takes”. Oops.
I mentioned he worked in a vitamin shop. A forty eight yr old “man” working in a vitamin shop.
She had known him for a couple years at least before D-Day. I met him. He was quite forgettable to be honest. I didn’t give him a second thought because he was quite effeminate and definitely not her type so I thought. I knew nothing of his background because like I said, I didn’t give him a second thought.
He was heavily into Facebook and constantly posted Christian word salad posts. Lots of memes and such. I’ve never been on Facebook so I didn’t see much except what she would show me now and then. I believe this is where it began.
After D-Day I had several people say “I knew it was him”, he liked everything she posted no matter what”. Side note; if you ever see this, please point it out to someone. It may be nothing, or it may be everything.
Anyhoo, This blog is about this piece of shit.
I’m not under any illusion that she wasn’t 50% of the betrayal, but let me explain how I see it.
I’ve posted about his “past” but I’ll refresh your memories or fill in those who aren’t on Twitter.
He’s a deadbeat “dad” who been married 3 times. His first marriage produced a profoundly handicapped son. In my flurry of investigating his past like we all do thinking it’s going to make a difference, I actually contacted his 1st wife. I asked if she was the one that he got the spousal abuse charge on. She was, and after her initial shock of me tracking her down (Thank you Google and my own late night obsession), she was quite lovely and forthcoming in her answers.
She explained that they had got into a fight one night and she scratched him and he hit her. His drunk friend told him to call the cops and he did. She spent an hour in jail, he spent 5 days. A month later he punched her again and she left. She said he always contacted and flirted with other women and she thought he cheated ,but she never caught him. It was a short email messaging session but she left me with this.
“We had a son together. His name is Preston and he is twenty five years old. He is tube fed and diapered. He (theAP) has made no effort to see him since he was 3 yrs. old. This should tell you everything you need to know about what kind of “man” he is”. She remarried and her second husband raised her son like he was his own.
The AP has a record. 9 small claims against him for non payment, theft from the vitamin shop (which took place the night she left me), and of course the spousal abuse.
This is the person I was replaced with. His online bio says he’s a “life coach” and he also dabbles in other life changing horse shit.
As far as anyone can tell, he has no clientele. I’m not sure how he makes a living since losing that sweet gig at the vitamin shop.
One last thing.
On December 28th 2018, my son and I drove to her shop to surprise her and take her out for dinner.
We were sitting in the parking lot and I could see her massage door was closed so I assumed she had a client. I waited until she came out and I could see her in the window and I texted her and said “you look pretty”. She obviously didn’t see it right away because the next thing I knew, a guy came out and walked right in front of my truck and looked at me and froze. I recognized him as I had met him before. He continued over to MY wife’s car and started it. As it was winter out, I didn’t think twice about it because it was like her to have a male client do something like that.
What happened next I will take to my grave. That Mother Fucker walked up to my window, with our SON sitting next to me and shook my hand and introduced himself. I told him we had met and then he went back inside her shop for a minute and then left.
He had just fucked my wife and then shook my hand…with my son next to me…
Like I said, I’ll take it to my grave.